I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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