Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
