Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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