Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
