Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this must be what syphilis tastes like
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
