I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
