hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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