apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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