how can u be prego again
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
