I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
