Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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