I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
