I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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