After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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