I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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