I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
