How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
