If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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