Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
