I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
