You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
