I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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