girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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