So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
