Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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