Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize