Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize