Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i think i have two assholes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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