I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Are we in a gay sports bar?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
