Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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