p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
