She said her name was "party"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
