We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
