And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
