Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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