i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
