did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
