Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
