when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
