Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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