Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
