Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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