Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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