ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My balls are so social today.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
