After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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