he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
