I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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