My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
