I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I want is dick and wine.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
