Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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