they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
