So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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