Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
why is half of my head shaved?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
