Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
