we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
