so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
