I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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