i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize